Saturday, August 2, 2014

25 liberal/Democrat jokes to start your day

Funny Liberal/Democrat Jokes To Start Your Day

1. Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.

2. Q: How do you confuse a Liberal?
A: You don’t. They’re born that way.

3. Q: Why is it good to have a Democrat passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

4. Q: What’s the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
A: Elvis has been sighted.

5. A Democrat died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
“Ten dollars?” she said. “It only takes ten dollars to bury a Democrat? Here’s a hundred – go bury 10 of them!”

6. Q: How do you keep a Democrat busy?
A: Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.

7. Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.

8. Q: What do you call a Democrat with an IQ of 130?
A: A foursome

9. Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.

10. Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals?
A: A whine cellar.

11. Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 Democrats.

12. Q: What is foreplay for a Democrat?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.

13. Q: What is the Democrat doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

14. Q: Why did the Liberal have blisters on his lips?
A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs.

15. Q: Why do Liberals work seven days a week?
A: So you don’t have to retrain them on Monday.

16. A Democrat found a magic genie’s lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, “I will grant you one wish.” He said, “I wish I were smarter”. So the genie made him a Republican.

17. Q: What the difference between a Democrat and the rear end of a horse?
A: I don’t know either.

18. Q: How is a Liberal different from a sewer rat?
A: Some people actually like sewer rats.

19. Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to walk in the dark.

20. Q: Why do so many Liberals live in L.A.?
A: It’s the only city that is easy enough for them to spell.

21. Q: What’s five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A Democrat parade.

22. Q: What is it called when a Liberal blows in another Liberal’s ear?
A: Data transfer.

23. Q: Why don’t they let Liberals swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can’t get the smell out of the tuna.

24. Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a Democrat.

25. Q: What’s the difference between a Liberal and a sack of manure?
A: The sack.

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